Top 50 JAzz Blog

Monday, December 21, 2020

The Worst Xmas Tunes

This is not to knock the idea of hearing songs befitting the season. There are some that retain their charm despite being in heavy rotation decade after decade-mostly the religious ones, not the secular ones, although "The Christmas Song" as sung by Nat King Cole and Judy Garland's version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" are hard not to like.

The fact that the ones I list below are still disturbing the ether is beyond me. And why didn't "(Everyone's Waitin' For) the Man With the Bag" and "I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas" get more traction? Even the best efforts of the Institute cannot elucidate this phenomenon. 



"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" (Brenda? Come on)

"Santa Claus is Comin' To Town" (intimidation for the kids)

"Jingle Bell Schlock-sorry-Rock"

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" (Meredith Wilson. you've done a lot better)

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" (If Burl Ives can't make this work, who can?)

"Santa Baby" (Really, Eartha?)

"Feliz Navidad" (It would be nice to have one in Spanish. So much great music down there and we end up with this. )

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" (no comment)

Special mention to "Let It Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow" for the most repetitious title and the most arcane harmonic modulations.


And, just so you don't leave in a bad mood, here's Louis Armstrong doing "Cool Yule.


Anonymous said...

The original lyrics to "Have yourself..." are wonderfully dark. "have yourself a Merry little Xmas, it may be your last. Next year we may all be living in the past." That's before getting to muddling vs hanging shining stars. Yr muddling friend, etc. D

gmoke said...

Just found out about this one:
Uncle Carl Came Out for Christmas

And to be ecumenical:
There's Pot in the Latkes

Steve Provizer said...

George-They're both too good to get on this list.

Jim Eigo said...

On a positive note here's a hidden Christmas jazz gem buried in the Duke Person Mosaic box set:

Anonymous said...

Dick Vacca writes:
"Holly Jolly Christmas, hands down.
A dishonorable mention, not on your list, is Paul McCartney telling us
he's simply having a wonderful Christmastime."

Steve Provizer said...

Thanks. When Paul's happy, I'm happy.

Steve Provizer said...

Thanks, Jim. That's going into the record books as the longest intro in jazz history.