Monday, March 26, 2012

The Orchestra Pit & The Pendulum

Dismantling the pit orchestra
The New York Times ran a piece on 3/24 talking about how pit orchestras are being moved out of pits so that more prime seating can be made available to Broadway big-spenders. The orchestras conduct their business by video and audio link from basements and other storage facilities far away from the theater where the show is actually being staged.

I have no quibble with this savvy business move and, in fact, am taking steps to implement a similar program in my own home.

First of all, my daughter's bedroom takes up a lot of space, but does she pay rent? Not on your life, buddy, so I looked up how much a room at the local boardinghouse would cost and calculated the difference between that and how much I could get for renting her room. Result? She's got to go. OK, we'll miss her, but she's a teenager, not around much anyway and her creams and lotions really clutter up the bathroom.

Next, I took a look at the living room. Nice and spacious. Then, I looked at my study-a tiny converted porch. You know which one I get to declare on my taxes. So, as of Monday, all my stuff moves into the big room and I now get to take six times the business office deduction. There'll be room for the TV in my former study and while it gets a bit cold out there in the winter, my wife is fond of camping and I think I can deduct the cost of blankets.

The final move is sheer genius. My mother lives all by herself on the first floor of the house. Meanwhile, I have a whole attic going unused. I can't rent it-it's not insulated and the floor won't pass inspection-so up you go, mom.  It's a pull-down staircase, a bit too heavy for her to operate, but there's usually someone around if she wants to get out. Oh, don't worry, she won't mind, believe me; anything to keep her baby solvent.

The show must go on.

4 comments:

Art said...

Will mom at least get Cable?

Steve Provizer said...

I signed her up for one of those stuff-envelopes-at-home things. She's much too busy to watch TV.

bigtiny said...

Now all of these symphony orchestras that are going bankrupt need to employ the same savvy. It they removed the stage from Symphony Hall, they could increase seating.....why not move the Orchestra onto the roof? A simple, tentpoe/tarp kind of shelter ought to be adequate to shelter them for a performance, right?

Steve Provizer said...

Correct. Any may I add, this is why, despite the fact that we don't MAKE anything, the U.S. will always be #1: Innovative thinking.