Top 50 JAzz Blog

Monday, September 27, 2010

"Confessions of an Esoteric Blogger" by Steve Provizer

Attend the fate of Mad Sweeney, as delineated by author Flann O'Brien in "At-Swim-Two-Birds:"

"Neck high sticks he must pass by leaping.
Knee high sticks by bending."

There are those who say that I apply that injunction to my unwitting readership. And, though it be mercantile suicide and savagely highfallutin', that may be so.  Scores plead that I lower my stringent standards in order to lure the elusive "crossover" audience ("Just one click can lead to instant wealth"), but this boy cannot be bought.*

In an effort to further muddy the waters, I present my current posting guidelines:
  • First names will be used at the whim of the Author. A full name such as 'Charlie Parker' may be used to differentiate from, for example, Leo or Maceo. However, if the Author believes the Reader should be able to tell which Parker it is by context, the nickname "Bird" will be used. For example: "While relaxing at Camarillo, Bird took up the practice of origami, etc..." 
  • The primacy of blown instruments over electronic ones will be continually touted. Ditto, wax and vinyl (pops and scratches) over other audio media (the hidden logarithmic theft of an mp3 file).
  • The Author will continue to utilize technical musical terms (c.f. the "turnaround") and provide oversimplified explanations of same ("a way to get back to the beginning").
  • All trends, fads, waves of fashion and transient cultural phenomena will continue to be disparaged (The double-cup mouthpiece is still under investigation).
  • Inre the Savory recordings: No Mas (unless my friend Jonathan invites me to a private listening session).
  • The use of "Part One" to describe any piece analyzing a facet of jazz history (say, 'sweet', vs 'hot') should be seen as a 1-dimensional oscillating line (i.e. local manifestation of "string theory") and therefore not implying Parts 2, 3, etc..

All this science and self-analysis has worn me out. Readers are invited to engage in the infamous interactive potential of Web 2 (or 3 or whatever it is now) and suggest other criteria. We aim to please.

*Write c/o this blog for hourly Provizer rental fees.


rob chalfen said...

Any use of the code word "Stokowski" means that my Adavan prescription has run out.

Steve Provizer said...

The NBC orchestra flies at midnight.

Anonymous said...

Part 2 ... and then *nothing* ... just like these 12-volumes series of Charlie Parker LP's, produced by a certain Dr. Claude Donkke which never got beyond "part 2"

And the best: As far as I know was there never a "part 1", hhmpff!

Bird's Perch (cover shot, eBay)

By the way, Steve, what does "Inre" mean? -- I avoid going on the site where those snippets of the great Savory collection is posted. It's so sad to know that we probably may never be allowed to hear the complete tracks.

Cheers to your rules! I will follow them ... NOT!

Christopher Ruston Rich said...

Hey Brew, I have a feeling Inre is some American office portmanteau word abbreviation for 'In regard' but I could be wrong.

We have made a hash of real English from England and introduced many 'Germanisms' like the use of 'z' in many words where Brits still are content with an 's'.

Among the Northern Euro Protestant white folks of America, those of your home are now the largest sub group and Brit based wasps like me are fading.

Steve Provizer said...

Bravo, Brew. Rules are for breaking-as my next post will do.

Inre is shorthand for "in the matter of." A handy word.

Christopher Ruston Rich said...

I once had the Harvard Dictionary of Music years ago and wouldn't mind getting it again.

It's as important for the vagabond English Major crowd now writing about jazz as a Strunk and White but more fun as you can look up odd Baroque Ornaments like trills and mordants.

You'll even discover what a Neapolitan 6th is but not much on why Carl Phillip Emmanuel Bach was so fond of the things.

Armed with your Music dictionary, you'll no longer have to devote paragraphs to non musical stuff like artists posture and choice of beverages to fill up space in what intended to be a description of a sonic thing.

Mark E Hayes said...

Why not just call this a manifesto and lead the rest of us into Jazz Nerd revolution? Bloggers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your brains!

Christopher Ruston Rich said...

Aw C'mon Mark, we're pulling legs 'n' shit.

Steve Provizer said...

The revolution will not be improvised. Or will it?

Anonymous said...

Steve -- It could be improvised, and Ornette's our leader.

If we don't wanna improvise it, we can use Jiggs Whigham, and his "seven steps to heaven (?)" to become a good jazz ... improvisor (?) -- These instructions would kill *all* creative embers immediately (if there were some) if you'd start to use them as your guide to (jazz) improvisation.

Jiggs Whigham would be the perfect leader for a completely planned, and checked-through revolution.

No, we ask Alex von Schlippenbach. He is a German, kinda count (or duke, or knight?), and he is *free*, really, he is.

We Germans need some practical instructions anyway how to make a good (improvised) revolution; at least we in the western part. The Easter folks have shown us how it goes. I guess it's our turn now.

Anonymous said...

P.S. -- That was only to complete the nonsense of my above post. -- Ah, by the way, thanks Steve for explaining "Inre".

There was another fellow, named Mr. P.P. (no, not Mr. P.C.!) some 1975 years ago who wrote "I.N.R.I." once on a piece of crossed wood.

Steve Provizer said...

INRI-What a difference an I makes...Yea, the aristocracy (von Schlippenbach) is always happy to get involved in The People's revolutions.

rob chalfen said...

Bruno, I'm pretty sure the 'Claude Donkke' riff is just an inventive piece of bootlegger's "False Jazz Dogma" to provide a bit of misdirective camouflage to the operation.

Mark E Hayes said...

Inre confessions, manifestos: I am a fan of pulled-legs et al. Ergo this blog swings,cooks, et cetera.